If you Are Concerned About your Co-Workers or Employees

Communicate: 

• I am afraid for your safety.
• I am afraid for the safety of your children.
• You don't deserve to be abused.

Educate yourself about domestic violence:

• Inaccurate attitudes and beliefs about domestic violence may hinder your ability to help. Domestic violence is a complex issue.
• Talk to a domestic violence advocate.
• Let go of any expectations that there is a quick fix to domestic violence or to the obstacles a victim faces.
• Understand that "inaction" may well be the best safety strategy at any given time.
• Challenge and change any inaccurate attitudes and beliefs that you may have about people in abusive relationships.

Respond in a supportive manner:

There are things you can do to be supportive to your co-worker or employee. People in abusive relationships aren't there because there's something wrong with them. Rather, they are people who have become trapped in relationships by their partners' use of violence and coercion. The better able you are to recognize and build on the resilience, courage, resourcefulness and decision-making abilities of a victim in this situation, the better able you will be able to help.

As a manager, friend or co-worker, your willingness to help can be important in safety planning efforts. The victim is facing a lot of uncertainty and change and probably feels quite fearful.  Being willing and well-intentioned is good; being prepared to offer the kind of help needed in this situation is even better.

• Believe the victim.
• Encourage, but don't pressure the victim to talk about the abuse.
• Respect the need for confidentiality.
• Listen. Support feelings without judgement.
• Let the victim know that he/she is not alone. Domestic assault can happen to anyone.
• Reassure the victim that the abuse is not his/her fault.  Do not blame.
• Give the victim clear messages that:  victim can not change abuser behavior; apologies and promises will not end the violence; violence is never justifiable.
• Physical safety is the first priority; discuss options and help make plans for victim and children's safety.
• Give the victim the time needed to make decisions.
• If the victim is not ready to make major changes, do not take away your support.
• Provide a list of key community resources that support and work with victims.