If someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship, here are some things you can do to help:

• Let this person know that you care about what happens to him/her.
• Let this person know that you know what is going on…secrecy does not help.
• Listen to the story without judgment, blame or advice…believing and encouraging him/her to face the truth are the best help you can give.
• Tell the truth, and remind the victim that jealousy is not love…it is a form of control.
• Our first concern is safety...it is ok to tell him/her that the abuser is dangerous.
• There is help available, contact the Chicago Domestic Violence Help Line:  1/877-863-6338 or 1/877-863-6339 (TTY). 

And if you are the parent of a victim:

• Talk honestly about your fears about safety and help him/her make a safety plan.
• Set limits on the circumstances under which he/she may see the abuser.
• Even if the victim denies danger, practice what to do in an emergency.
• Tell the victim you will come to help, anytime, anywhere, no questions asked.
• Listen to your teens.  Do not scream and tell them what to do. 
• The more you try to control the victim, the more resistance you will feel from this person.